Another Passover song!

Hi! So a while back I made a Quenya translation of the Passover song Ḥad Gadya, and the sages of ElfDict were incredibly helpful with proofreading and copy editing.

Anyway now I'm back and I'm at it again! I'm working on a Quenya translation of another Passover song, Eḥad Mi Yodea', and I'd love to get feedback again.

Here's my draft:

Man ista minë? Istan minë! Min ná i Eru i or menel cemenyë.

Man ista atta? Istan atta! Atta nát i palmat. Min na i Eru...

Man ista neldë? Istan neldë! Neldë nar i atari. Atta nar...

Man ista canta? Istan canta! Canta nar i amillí. Neldë nar...

Man ista lempë? Istan lempë! Lempë nar i parmar axanion. Canta nar...

Man ista enquë? Istan enquë! Enquë nar i hereni ataquetiëo. Lempë nar...

Man ista otso? Istan otso! Osto nar i rí sendarennar. Enquë nar...

Man ista tolto? Istan tolto! Tolto nar i rí osciriennar. Osto nar...

Man ista nertë? Istan nertë! Nertë nar i astar nostiennar. Osto nar...

Man ista cainen? Istan cainen! Cainen nar i axani palmatsë. Nertë nar...

Man ista minquë? Istan minquë! Minquë nar i elelli oloris Yoséfëo. Cainen nar...

Man ista yunquë? Istan yunquë! Yunquë nar i hostari Ihrahél. Minquë nar...

concluding with (in full): Man ista nelcëa? Istan nelcëa! Nelcëa nar i yéni quantoliëo. Yunquë nar i hostari Ihrahél. Minquë nar i elelli oloris Yoséfëo. Cainen nar i axani palmatsë. Nertë nar i astar nostiennar. Osto nar i rí sendarennar. Enquë nar i hereni ataquetiëo. Lempë nar i parmar axanion. Canta nar i amillí. Neldë nar i atari. Atta nar i palmat. Min na i Eru i or menel cemenyë.

Attempted translation for the last verse: "Who knows thirteen! I know thirteen! Thirteen are the years* of maturity. Twelve are the tribes of Israel. Eleven are the stars in Joseph's dream. Ten are the commandments on the two-tablets. Nine are the months until begetting. Eight are the days until circumcision. Seven are the days until the rest-day. Six are the orders of the repetition. Five are the books of the commandments. Four are the mothers. Three are the fathers. Two are the two-tablets. One is the One who is over heaven and earth."

Some notes:

• Some of the words I attempted to coin based on other roots. For instance, *oscirie is the gerund for the neologism oscir-.
• Others, like names. are borrowed based on my admittedly incomplete understanding of Quenya phonotactics. So *Ihrahél is meant to be a borrowing of the Hebrew Yisrael, with influence from the old Latin form Israhel (partially to preserve the distinct /a/ and /e/ vowels, and partially because Tolkein was a Catholic who would be familiar with the Latin form). And *Yoséfëo is from Hebrew Yosef, with word-final anaptyxis to get around the phonotactically illegal coda -f.
• I'm aware that a yén is 144 solar years instead of just one. But elves live for a long time so I thought it seemed odd to claim that the would reach the elven equivalent to bar-mitzvah age at only thirteen solar years.

Some things I'm worried about:

• I am a little bit uncertain as to the right cases to use for eleven through seven. I went with locative for eleven and ten and allative for nine through seven, but if that sounds non-standard please let me know and I'd be happy to change them.
• There are so many different words for "one" in Quenya! I went with minë mostly because it fit closer with the meter (every other number being two syllables), but I did consider using er since it's the root of the word Eru itself, and the whole gist of the song is emphasizing the unity and oneness of God.
• I used the copula since I was considering the numerals to be serving as nominal in the syntax. But I'm not certain if I should, and I am wondering if I should delete all the ná forms. Please let me know what you think!

Thank you so much for your help!