The eleventh phrase (lines 20-22) of the intermediate version of the Oilima Markirya poem (PE16/77). The first word is a descriptive compound of the adjectives karne and vaite “skied”, followed by the subject of the phrase: úri “sun”.
The verb kilivande is the future 3rd-singular feminine form of kili- “see”, followed by the genitive form of híse, the noun nie “tear” (twice) and the adjective nienaite “tearful”. As discussed in the notes for the sixth draft of the poem, the combination kili- nie (nienaite) is idiomatic Qenya meaning “have tears in the eyes”, more literally “see a dropping [(lit.) tearful] tear” (PE16/75).
This phrase corresponds to the lines of the English translations of the poem LA2a-LA2b (PE16/68-9): “under a red sky, the bleared sun blinking”. It is closer to the eighteenth and nineteenth lines of the first English translation LA1a (PE16/67): “when the sky was red, the sun gazed through a haze of tears”.
Decomposition: Broken into its constituent elements, this phrase would be:
> karne-vaite úri kil-iva-nde híse-n nie nie nienaite = “✱red-skied sun see-(future)-she mist-of tear tear tearful”
The eighteenth phrase (the second part of line 20 and lines 21-22) of the first version of the Oilima Markirya poem (MC/221). Its English translation is quite liberal. The first Qenya word is a compound of karne “red” and an adjectival form vaite (“skied”) of vaiya “sky”, as indicated by the Glossary Commentary accompanying the sixth draft (PE16/75).
The subject úri is a variant form of Ûr “Sun” followed by the verb kilde, the aorist 3rd-singular feminine form of kili- “to see”. As indicated by the Glossary Commentary accompanying the sixth draft (PE16/75), the combination kili- nie (nienaite) is idiomatic Qenya meaning “have tears in the eyes”, more literally “see a dropping [(lit.) tearful] tear” (PE16/75).
In the middle of this phrase is the word hísen “of mist”, which superficially resembles a nominative but seems to function as a genitive, something supported by its translation in the Glossary Commentary as “misty”, it is possible, though that it is a distinct adjective.
Decomposition: Broken into its constituent elements, this phrase would be:
> karne-vaite úri kil-de híse-n níe nienaite = “✱red-skied Sun see-she mist-of tear tearful”
Conceptual Development: This phrase appeared in the fourth draft of this poem, where after experimenting with and rejecting some alternate wording, Tolkien settled on a phrase quite close to its final form, with the addition of the preposition ter “through” before nie “tear” (OM1d: PE16/62). This preposition was removed in the sixth draft (OM1f: PE16/74).